Colin – The Scottish Legend recently shared my flash fiction story in his Spring Writing Event. The idea for the story was completely off the cuff with no great forethought put in. I just let the words flow. Have a read and see what you think. Big thanks to Colin for sharing.
[This story was written by Paul E bailey. its a short one but fitting and enjoyable hope you enjoy it]
As is my usual custom, I knock upon the door to ensure that nobody is inside. There never is because that would be extremely poor planning on the part of my employer, but one can never be too careful in this line of work. In twenty-five years, seven months, one week and four days in this job there have never been hiccups to cause me problems, and I have never failed in my task.
What is my job? That’s simultaneously very easy to answer and extremely complex. I’m a hitman. I kill people. It’s not a job I yearned to have or anything. I fell into it by accident. I learned how to use ranged firearms in the army, and I was by far the best in my regiment…
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Having Terry be killed at the end maybe would have been too cliche. It was very well done and I really enjoyed it. Great job!
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I’m all for avoiding clichés. As I explained in a comment to somebody else, I wanted to avoid the obvious poetic justice death thing; however, I did want to tease it, hence his boss turning up and throwing that scenario out there as a result.
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I was so expecting him to die!!!!! But you had me fooled! I love this story😊
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I was expecting him to die too. That’s exactly why he didn’t. Haha. I knew it would be far too obvious. In a job like his you just expect his ultimate demise as a form of poetic justice. However, although he is a stone-cold killer I don’t think he’s a bad person. We all have to do things we don’t like for money. He took no joy from being a hitman, he was just really good at it. In all fairness, we only got as far as we did in the story. Who knows what might happen when he leaves the hotel tomorrow? That I will leave to everyone’s imagination.
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I’m going to be thinking up so many scenarios now… LOL.
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That’s the beauty of the open ended story. You get people who get so mad when a movie doesn’t have a definite ending, but I like that concept because you can create so many possibilities in your own mind. If you can’t do that then I reckon it says more about you and your lack of imagination.
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Well done – it turned out good 😊
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I’m glad you think so. Reading back over it I’m glad I avoided the obvious move of having Terry die in the end. That’s exactly what I’d have expected as a neutral reader.
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Yeah I was half expecting that given some of your past writing… lol. Glad you went the unexpected route
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It seems most all who read it were expecting a bad ending. I think I’ve flip-reversed this story and Dead End in that you’d more expect Andy to have survived than Terry.
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True!
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I’d like to write a story one day where people don’t die, but where’s the fun in that? 😂 I know I already have, but ssssshhhhhhhh…
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Lol
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Wow! Amazingly written Paul..a new perspective! Well done! 🙂 🙂
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I honestly didn’t know where to go with it. I was wondering right up until the last paragraph whether the hitman should die in a cruel twist of fate, but I ultimately decided that was too obvious. I think having him ride off into the sunset was a less expected ending.
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I guess that’s what made the story unique..and your writing style is exceptionally beautiful! 🙂
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Wow! Thank you very much 🙂 It’s weird, but when I’m writing freestyle I just feel the words flow from my fingertips and when I read back I often wonder if it’s even me who wrote it. It’s kind of like an outer body experience.
Speaking of beautiful writing, I know you posted the next chapter of your story. It’s on my ‘to read’ list 🙂
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Haha..Thanks! I’ll be waiting for your feedback then..though I’m writing it on a really light note.. 😛 🙂
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Maybe a light note is better. I’ve been getting too intense in terms of workload and my writing is suffering. I got my first bits of negative feedback since I started blogging on my latest post. It’s hit home quite hard, but I know my quality isn’t up there. I’m giving myself too much to do and it’s a problem I’m looking to address.
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I’m sure you’ll deal with all of them swiftly! So don’t worry and keep writing amazing stuff! 🙂 🙂
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Thank you for your support. You’ve been a great confidence boost for me in recent times 🙂
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