Paul.E.Bailey’s World – Calling Papua New Guinea

Posted on by Paul.E.Bailey

Title image includes images from Smartraveller and Wikipedia.

From the top I would just like to say that this post is nothing but a whole bunch of nonsense and I am literally only writing it for the sake of doing so because it’s in my head.

I recently purchased the game Dead Island for my PS4. I loved it so much on the PS3 that I thought I’d get the remastered version given that there still isn’t a release date for Dead Island 2. I needed my zombie slaying fix one way or another.

If you haven’t played Dead Island then you likely won’t know that it is set on a fictional island called Banoi near Papua New Guinea and the zombie plague is as a result of a mutation of kuru; a disease native to PNG. The capital city of the island is called Moresby; a direct reference to Port Moresby which is the capital city of PNG. I’m still not entirely sure if the Moresby in the game is actually Port Moresby, but I can’t find any references that say it is.

dead-island
Dead Island artwork (image from Mod DB)
port-moresby
Port Moresby in Papua New Guinea (image from Wikipedia)

I know decidedly little about Papua New Guinea. In fact, it seems few do. All I know is that it is a developing nation, crime is absolutely rife in the towns and cities, it has an HIV/AIDS problem that is so great that it’s at epidemic levels, more languages are spoken there than in any other country in the world and the greatest concentration of its seven million inhabitants live in rural areas. That’s all I know without summoning the powers of Wikipedia.

On one hand I am quite interested to visit the place one day. On the other the mere prospect fills me with dread. Malaria is a massive issue over there as well as the aforementioned HIV and AIDS so I’d need to face my irrational fear of needles before I did go. Naturally I’d stay the hell away from any broads that gave me the come on! It is a country that intrigues me though because of how undiscovered it is. It’s alleged that it is home to many undiscovered species of flora and fauna. You don’t often hear of people saying they visited Papua New Guinea do you?

So I suppose you could say the nation is on my list of places to visit, but warily so. If I saw anybody infected with kuru while I was there I would likely jump on the first plane back to blighty and hide under my duvet for a few weeks such is my zombie obsession.

Anyway, having played Dead Island most of Wednesday (I might have stayed up til 2:30am playing on it) and thinking of the game’s setting, I decided I’d have a look at what countries my blog has been viewed in after sorting out chapter five of Find Me a Find. Guess what country doesn’t feature on the list? Yup; Papua New Guinea! That was the one country I was looking for of course. The countries on my stats that have racked up one view thus far include Slovenia, Jersey, Fiji, Nepal, Sri Lanka and, Papua New Guinea’s next door neighbour, Indonesia. There are others too, but the fact that I haven’t had one person from PNG view my blog disappoints me.

one-view
The list of nations that Paul.E.Bailey’s World has only been viewed in once (correct at the time of writing)

So this is an appeal to the good people of Papua New Guinea. All I’m asking is that one of you click on the link to my blog just once so that I can proudly state that my name has been seen over there. While we’re at it I’m appealing to the folk of Chile, Bolivia, Venezuela, Iceland, Denmark and Faroe Islands too. Don’t be nasty and just give my humble little blog a look over. Most important though is Papua New Guinea. I desperately covet a view from over there. It’s the least you guys can do. On Football Manager I created a player called Solomon Ukanga from Papua New Guinea who’s an international superstar, a two time leading European Champions League goal scorer, a two time European Champions League best player and Oceania Player of the Year. I’ve scratched your back so now it’s your turn to scratch mine.

solomon-ukanga
Here is the player profile of Papua New Guinea’s Solomon Ukanga. Those of you familiar with Football Manager will realise just how good I’ve made him off the stats.
solomon-ukanga-cl
And here is the evidence that Solomon Ukanga is the European Champions League best player winner two years running.

While we’re on the subject, I believe The Bahamas owe me a click too. I’ve written a goddamned novel that’s set in Freeport for a good third of the story so I think somebody from that neck of the woods should definitely get to clicking on my blog also. If Trinidad & Tobago and Jamaica can amass three clicks between them then I’m quite sure you lot can bring yourself to do it just the once.

This concludes my appeal. You have your orders Papua New Guinea and The Bahamas. Don’t disappoint me. Make today the day where you bring a smile to the face of an average white guy from Ashton-under-Lyne, Greater Manchester, UK. If you know anybody from either of the nations (or any of the others mentioned above) then do me a solid and get them to check out my blog. Thank you in advance.

bahamas-flag
Here’s my appeal to The Bahamas too. This country gets a massive inclusion in my story, Revenge on the Spanish Main, so the least I can get from said country is a view! (Image from Wikipedia)

26 thoughts on “Paul.E.Bailey’s World – Calling Papua New Guinea”

      2. There’s a lot of the world to see and I’ve never left the EU (with the exception of Turkey which is a popular beach holiday destination for UK tourists anyway so it doesn’t count). I’m not comfortable with the idea of not seeing as much of this planet as I possibly can in my lifetime.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I know what you mean Paul. I feel that way sometimes, I’ve actually met people that have never been to any other country apart from their country of birth, not that they can’t afford to but it just never occured to them. So I try to encourage them to give it a try cos it’s exciting and brings light to life💞

        Liked by 1 person

      4. My plan always was to travel, but I continually wound up in situations that tethered me to one place. Obviously now I have my son to consider so jet-setting is off the agenda until he grows up; at least as far as travelling to less secure destinations like PNG goes.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey dude, I’ve been there twice. Once in 1988, & again in 2015.

    I’ve included PNG in one of my posts –

    https://dariakill.wordpress.com/2017/02/12/a-fathers-legacy-chapter-6/

    & you’re right; it is absolutely gorgeous. But very, very dangerous.

    In saying that, I’ve never felt threatened either time – & last time I went, I travelled alone.

    I reblogged you, just in case anyone from PNG or the Bahamas picks you up.

    Daria.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks for linking me to the post and for the reblog. Here’s hoping it bears fruit. I’ve posted it in a Papua New Guinea group on Facebook and everything 😂 I would definitely like to visit one day.

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    1. I only really know what I’ve learned from Dead Island, but it is one of those nations that has kind of always fascinated me simply because you hear very, very little about it. It’s almost as though outsiders intentionally avoid it

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      2. Honestly, some games are a wealth of information. The Assassin’s Creed series is laden with historical stories. Granted some are twisted to fit the game model, but the facts are still all there about whatever time and location they’re set. I really like that educational touch from something labelled as entertainment

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Now of course, you’ve made me go and check my own statistics page to see if anyone from Papua New Guinea has visited Mosaicca. Alas, no.

    Based on the photo of Moresby and the description of undiscovered flora and fauna, PNG really does sound like a lush, gorgeous place. On the other hand, as you say, malaria and other illnesses are absolutely nothing to mess around with. One of my coworkers went on a two week Ugandan holiday in January. One of his party came back with malaria, and the rest (including my coworker) came back with an internal parasite. He had to be quarantined for a while. My husband and I had recently been discussing doing an African safari holiday soon (though we would likely go to Kenya), but my coworker’s tale quelled our desires for the time being.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. I’ve lived in Africa twice… there are precautions and procedures to follow… if you do so there’s no reason to worry. There is preventative malaria medicine you must start taking ahead of time (take it over weeks) for example… and for godssakes don’t drink the water or eat undercooked meat! But you’ll be fine. I last lived in Ethiopia and had a handful of friends that went to boarding school in Kenya. It’s fine.

      Liked by 2 people

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      1. I’m sure that for the most part it is fine. My coworker and his party had all diligently taken their pre-trip medications and what not and did not drink the water. The doctors said it came down to the showers they had taken, I think? I’m not sure medically how catching something from a shower works, though.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I think people have a tendency to forget that the skin does actually contain pores and retains moisture so anything bad in the water is likely to wind up seeping into the blood stream if you expose yourself to it for long enough

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I don’t generally pay much attention to stats other than views per day whilst passing through. But because Papua New Guinea is essentially the setting for Dead Island I wanted to see if anybody from over there had actually come across my blog yet and that was how I discovered all the other nations my name hasn’t reached. I’m especially offended at not having been viewed in Denmark as I pretend to live in Middelfart on my Facebook profile (did I choose that town simply because it has “fart” in it? You decide ;-)).
      To be fair, visits to far flung destinations are a long way off. My son turned two today so it’ll probably be another fifteen years at least before I can consider any kind of globetrotting 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Much of the same. Just improved graphics really. The mechanics are as they were. They’ve changed the music on the pause menu though which I’m not impressed about. Other than that it’s just great zombie slashing fun and the only game that has ever made me jump out of my skin. I hate the infected when they run at you without you realising. How I haven’t soiled myself yet I’ll never know!

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