Of late I’ve been really struggling to come up with a theme for this particular blog series. Those who have been keeping up with Living the Dream will know that it centres around my past, present and future as a reader and writer and has encompassed many themes that centre around all of those things.
The problem is that I’ve been thinking too hard about it and as a result have even been thinking of knocking the series on the head because nothing is coming to me. That has been frustrating.
But something has been happening the past few weeks while I’ve been getting stuck into my fiction more so than ever before. I’ve been working hard on A Survivors Apocalypse Story and a couple of other ventures that are inbound in the not too distant future and do you know what? I’m really loving my writing of late. I mean I’m really enjoying it probably more than ever. I’m excited to sit down and get my laptop open.
It’s like being in a sweetshop deciding which one of my ventures I want to work on at that particular moment. They’re all unique and test my abilities in different ways. There are plenty of other irons in the fire too. I could be working on about four or five other things if I wanted as well, but it would likely be detrimental to take on too much at once.
The fact is though that the buzz of writing is there right now more than ever, which I’m grateful for as I was going through a patch of finding it hard to motivate myself before this. I think writing more fiction is definitely helping. I’ve said many a time before and I’ll say it again; I prefer writing fiction so much more than non-fiction. I like creating and using my imagination. I don’t feel writing real life stories or factual pieces fulfils me regardless of how good those pieces might be.
Since the age of twelve I’ve been writing fiction stories and they’re what I’m best at. They’re what I love the most about writing. Some may argue that it’s because I don’t want to offer too much of myself to my followers and I suppose they could be right, but I never started writing because I wanted to sell myself to people as a person. I’ve only ever wanted to sell myself as a fiction writer. If anything, I feel I may have sold myself too much thus far. I don’t mind leaving myself vulnerable by writing about more personal things, but that was never the aim of this blog.
I feel the sharing has come as a result of reading the blogs of those who share so much of themselves. Maybe subconsciously I feel I owe everyone in that respect because they’ve been so open, but I really don’t feel that suits me. I’m not saying for one second that I’m going to stop posting the occasional bit of non-fiction or real life, but I’ll never be able to write such things with the conviction or enthusiasm I write fiction. I personally feel that what’s going on in my head is far more interesting than me in general.
Another thing that has helped is writing things without being so damned organised about it. A Survivors Apocalypse Story is the first story of length I ever started writing that had no detailed synopsis. It had no synopsis at all. I just started writing it after having read the first couple of chapters of Kira’s Just Another Apocalypse Diary (and gaining her permission beforehand of course). I continue to work without a synopsis and take each sub chapter as it comes which is providing me some immense creative freedom. I’m doing the same with the other two things I’m working on too and my confidence in writing that way is growing at a rate of knots.
I’ve always loved writing, but I’m more in love with it now than ever. It’s my therapy. It’s my release. It’s my escape. Writing is a massive part of me and it’s become something I can’t do without. Dare I say it, writing has become a more vital lifeline to me than music. That may be a premature statement, but the fact I’m even considering that writing could be more vital to me than music is something ground-breaking on a personal level.
I was driving along ten minutes ago having just collected the shopping from Asda and listening to arguably my favourite song along the way. Sure, I was singing along and feeling the good vibes that song always sends through me, but I got distracted for at least a minute of it because I was thinking about one of the three things I’m working on and what direction to take it in. Even arguably my favourite song is fighting for its life!
When I started blogging, I had planned to be posting more frequently by now; perhaps almost daily. I am posting more frequently, but I don’t think I’ll ever be the kind of person who posts every day. It’s not that I don’t think I could do it. I reckon I could. My issue with posting daily is that I feel I’d end up writing a lot of stuff for the sake of it and some of it would lack substance. That would eventually lead to me writing because I feel I simply have to and a lack of enjoyment would surely follow. The last thing I want to do is kill writing by being too prolific.
All I ever wanted was a job I enjoy doing. I have enjoyed jobs in the past, but it’s never been anything more than a brief honeymoon period. The word ‘job’ in itself screams of being a direct antithesis of fun. Writing isn’t a job yet as I don’t receive pay for it so at the moment it remains nothing more than a hobby. A hobby I feel so much passion for that it borders on obsession. In fact, I’d say I’ve leapt that border recently. I don’t want writing to be a hobby. I want it to be my job. I want it to be what brings money into the house. To know that the thing I do as a hobby is also what I do to make a living would be a dream come true.
I’ve got a long way to go before that dream filters its way into real life and in the meantime I really don’t mind doing it for nothing. I don’t mind at all. I love it. I love writing. I’m already living the dream. Here’s to all of you who love writing too. We’re the lucky ones. Let’s hope that nothing happens to tarnish the love we feel.
How do you feel about writing? What do you hope to get out of doing it? Is blogging helping you become a more complete writer? Do you prefer to read fiction or real life stories? As ever, I’d love to read your thoughts in the form of a comment below so please do so and I’ll do all I can to get back to you in timely fashion. Thank you for reading and for your continued support of my endeavours.